Beckteria

Advice from a Friend

I had a nice long chat with a friend last night who has lived abroad before. We discussed what’s in store for me—being lonelier than I ever have been before in my life and in a way that I will have never experienced before. I know that I’m in for that. I get crazy lonely in the states. That’s why I try to maintain a lot of friends…. Depression isn’t something new to me, it’s just something that seems to come naturally with life for me.

I’m only somewhat worried. I’m in the excited and scared phase right now. Even the JET program’s literature mentions the various stages of culture shock and that often times reverse culture shock is more severe. I can actually see the reverse being more difficult, I already don’t relate to a lot of people. It’s not to say that I’m not empathic, but many people are rather obtuse. And as I learned today, I’m not as good at psychoanalyzing people as I thought. And thus the drama unfolds.

I’m glad that I won’t be unplugged from the rest of my world. Being in Paris for two weeks without much e-mail or phone calls made me go a bit crazy. Of course, I was on vacation and didn’t have any real personal space either. So, it is different to start a new life somewhere. Historically, communication is how I’ve kept my sanity.

My advice to myself is to make more friends in Japan, find more hobbies, learn more Japanese, and roll with the punches. I’ve recently been told that I’m scared of change—this isn’t logical to me. I’m crazy enough to move from Montana to Minnesota to Osaka, Japan. I emphasize crazy. I have all of these people telling me that they would never take that kind of risk. I say “fuck it.” Do what ya want…what good is life if you’re not having fun?

All I can hope is that this goes well, if not it’s like my last relationship—no regrets, just won’t do that shit again. It made me who I am today.

posted by Bex @ 8:38 AM